Lenny McLean was a fearsome looking man, and there is no doubt he could look after himself, but was Lenny really the king of mean?

Did his role in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels feed the legend?

It makes a change for cripple boy to do anything remotely funny.

See hybrid human animal embryos the truth

Of course you would need a sizeable blanket box in which to place the body and then the fun would be whom would fill it?

Of course, we are only talking in jest, we would never concur that murder and concealment of a body is the right thing to do, far from it, it’s totally wrong. But if it is good enough for a top drama on ITV1 to show such a thing, then it is OK for Double hard bastard to discuss it!

Here’s my thoughts as to what twats we could use to fill a blanket box:

• Jehovah’s Witnesses
• NCP Parking Wardens
• Gordon Brown
• Paris Hilton
• Britney Spears
• Kerry Katona

Personally speaking I would like to see all the above shoved into a blanket box and made to suffer, with the exception of the slut that is Kerry Katona whom I would kick the shit out of first.

I also think that any blanket box would have to be lined with bin liners prior to the placing of any actual body.

The nice thing with the suitcase trick as seen on Trial and Retribution is the fact it is portable. This is where body concealment in a blanket box is decidely trickier; after all the unit is by no way as portable.

Ultimately, it’s a pretty bloody stupid idea, but I think you could have some fun with it on a weekend when you are off your tits after a good night out.

I am not sure what is going on - although it is fair to say this blog about the waste of space that is Amy Winehouse was not written by the cripple, apparantly this one was written by Bony_Tony, whoever the feck he is!

It does beg the question, do you want a fat mum, or no mum at all.

Apparently Kanye feels guilty about the matter even though a recent inquest has confirmed that her death was not due to the cosmetic surgery, but due to a pre-existing heart condition.

It would be foolish to say though, that the surgery didn’t AFFECT the heart condition, and it certainly would not be unreasonable to say that if Kanye had paid for decent healthcare for his mum rather than trying to slim her down, maybe the pre-existing heart condition would have been discovered BEFORE she considered surgery of any kind.

So Kanye’s fault directly? No.. Indirectly? A definite maybe. (allegedly)

People seem so quick these days to jump at plastic surgery with arms wide open ready to embrace, especially people who would not ordinarily be able to afford such a procedure. This situation just outlines further that there are SERIOUS risks present when undertaking such an operation, that can and DO end in death.

I know some will say that the surgery isn’t just cosmetic, it is to boost their self confidence, self esteem, and psychologically make them a happier person. Well is it worth dying for? Baring in mind that if you just mentally answered yes, you just failed the pre-op psychological evaluation.

Cosmetic surgery is, and will remain, cosmetic, and is not worth losing your life over. Kanye West learnt his lesson – so why risk it?

The other day while I was cleaning out my pet beavers I tripped and fell headfirst into the beaverhutch. Now the beaver hutch is a wooden contraption, held up by metal piping, to support the beavers as they beaver around and such.

In my ungainly fall I happened to snag my shorts on some metal tubing poking out the side of the beaverhutch, and they were ripped right off. Good lord!! I thought to myself.

Now as this happened, an unfortunate series of events took place. First the female beaver inserted herself rectum first onto my massive cock and started chattering her teeth so hard that a serious vibrating enseud throughout her body. As you may be able to imagine I was unable to maintain a calm state and became as hard as a set of stainless steel pipes!

Feeling slightly disgusted with myself being halfway up a beaver, I ripped the little woodmunching bucktoothed slut off me, and threw her across the garden and into a nearby stream. It was a just punishment.

Now unfortunately due to the large size of my penis, i also have HUGE testicles, and due to their size they hold an incredible volume of fluid. Now in my haste to rip this beaver off my meat beater, she contracted like a milkmaid after a long walk down rape avenue, causing me to systematically unload a shot of primordial soup second to none.

To her great misfortune young lucy was walking past my garden at the time, and the glob of sugary goodness not only hit her in the face, it was so think in its consistancy that it stuck in her throat and caused instant suffocation. Naturally I tried to revive her, but all life had drained from her small body.

If only, I said up to the heavens, If only the good lord had not given me a balustrade for a penis.

At that time I was working as a salesman for a telecommunications company, making high value deals and receiving a substantial commission. I had what I thought was a great relationship with a great woman who loved me to bits. We were sharing a rented flat in a nice part of town and regularly saving towards the purchase of our own property. We both had our hearts set on a little house with a garden so that we could have a dog.

For many years I’ve enjoyed gambling. I grew up in a family where all of my male role models gambled, grandfather, uncle and father. They never bet more than they could afford to lose and it was clearly something that they did for enjoyment. When I was old enough and had a little spare cash I too started to visit our local bookies office, placing small bets on advice from my grandad.

As my earnings grew so did my gambling. I started to go to a regular monthly poker game where it wasn’t unusual for the pot to reach as much as £5000. This was where my taste for poker developed. I played with the boys at the monthly poker game for about two years over which time I think I must have just about broken even. Towards the end of this period I discovered online poker and that was my downfall.

I was soon playing every night. In fact I was playing at every spare moment I had, even on the quiet at work. I stopped going to the monthly poker games and became an online gambling obsessed introvert, losing touch with many of my old poker playing buddies and other friends. It wasn’t long before I had gambled away all of my savings and my long suffering girlfriend gave me an ultimatum. Either give up the gambling or she would leave, which she did!

Without her around the flat I started to skive off work pretending to be ill when in fact I was at home playing poker at various online casinos. I would con myself into believing that everything was really OK and that I wouldn’t continue to lose money because I was getting some poker rakeback or because I had set a limit on my spending. I was clearly in a state of denial as I didn’t acknowledge that I was actually playing at several online casinos and the rake-back commission was negligible, particularly when compared with the amount of cash that I was losing regularly (daily).

It wasn’t long after my long suffering girlfriend had left that I was sacked from my job. They called it redundancy but that was just a quick way of getting me out of the door. My sales successes had completely dried up and I’d been taking weeks off work with a variety of fake illnesses. By this time I had racked up significant debt, through my online poker playing, on all of my credit cards and was already in debt to my landlord for the rent on the flat. Inevitably I was kicked out and was forced to persuade my old mum to let me stay with her.

Finding myself back in the little bedroom that I had occupied as a boy was a blow. But not big enough to stop my gambling. Surprisingly I still had a bunch of credit cards and found it very easy to increase the credit limits, convincing myself that it would just take one big win and all of my problems would go away. Sadly this was not to be the case.

My lowest moment came one day when all of my credit had completely dried up, I had no cash whatsoever and could no longer play online poker. I found myself looking around my mums house for things that I might sell to make a few quid. I felt like a junkie, which is exactly what I was. Luckily my mum came home and caught me bagging up a few of her prized antiques. They each had enormous sentimental value to her but would have only made a few quid in resale, but I was going to sell them anyway. How bad is that!

It’s my mum who I have to thank for sorting me out. I’d reached rock bottom and couldn’t go any further. She immediately called an old family friend who had experience with gamblers anonymous in the UK. He came round and paid me a visit persuading me to go along to a meeting. I am now, slowly, getting my life straight again. I’m still living with my mum, but I have a driving job and I’m giving her some money every week for my keep. I still think about gambling, a lot. But I’m not actually doing any. It is still early days for me and I now know that I shall probably always be susceptible to the gambling temptation but I am feeling that, with the support of gamblers anonymous and my mum, I can stay away from the online poker games, casinos and horses.

One only has to google the words ‘Lindsay Lohan’ in Google Images with safe-search turned off, and right there on the first page we are greeted with fantastic images of Lindsay’s shaven beaver staring back up at us. What makes it even better is that these pictures of our wine glass holding, beer swilling laddette have been confirmed as real! Very nice.

On to page two or so, pictures of Lindsay’s little escapade into her mini cooper, where her breast accidentally managed to slip out of her top, oooh, around…. 6 times? Well DONE lindsay, you let those dirty pillows come out to play.

And to think she has a reputation in hollywood for a being an absolute cockwhore? Well I mean she did date Bruce Willis, and lets face it, putting that cock in her mouth must have been like sucking on a shrivelled up roll of pennies.

The remarkable thing is how plastered our dear girl always looks when various body parts start popping out of their respective places. Not that I’m complaining she didn’t learn the first time (second time, or third time). So if you ask me, the more wine glasses she holds and the more wine accessories she uses……. the better!!

The fact is, the white trailer trash Americans are the worst fucking racists of all - Well fuck the Americans, it’s a shitty inbred country ruled by a war mongering religious freak who probably get severly kicked-in when growing-up for being a thick-as-shit cunt!

Fuck white people who think they are superior, that’s bollocks, asian people are just as fucking good at cleaning toilets (if not better). In fact there are a number of things that Asians and black people are better at than white people, the list includes -

• Suicide Bombing (A)
• Sport (B)
• Music (B)
• Dancing (B)
• Curry (A)
• All Inclusive Holidays (B)
• Religious Freaks (A)

In fact the list is fucking endless. Well now it seems the white supremacists who are pissed off because the black man is shagging the white woman with his big fuck off black cock are fighting back!

The wanky white supremacists can now ensure everything in their home is white, with a complete collection of white furniture now available.

Does your missus crave black cock? Fuck it, ban black in your bedroom with a complete collection of white bedroom furniture. Here’s my ultimate collection of white bedroom furniture:

White Double Wardrobe, White Bedside Table, White Bedhead, White Mirror, White Wardrobes & White Blanket Box.

Hey Mr White Supremacist cock-sucking freak, did you know your wife also fucked the Asian plumber in your lounge? Here’s a list of white living room furniture:

White Sofa, White Display Units, White Fireplace, White Tables and White Chairs.

Hey Mr White Supemacist, did you know your whore of a white wife had her cunt licked clean-out on your dining-room table? Well, now you can replace it with your nice white one. Here’s my list of white dining room furniture:

White dressers, White Bookcases & White Drawer Units.